Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Is this a Theory?

So my theory is, that if you are in a relationship that maybe flagging slightly or you are looking for a change, be honest, we have all been there, I think it is far easier to find another partner...

It’s a bit like looking for a new job when you have a job.  If you don’t have a job through whatever circumstance then it’s harder to find a new job as people always think there is something wrong with you.  This is fact, the sad part is the longer you are without a job it becomes even harder.

Is this the same for finding a new partner when single?  Does it become harder the longer time goes on?

Or can I flip this around and consider the fun if I can class it as that, that I am having meeting and chatting with new people which tends to be online at first and then to the whole txt thing.

So you meet someone on line, well they have looked at your profile and potentially like the cut of your jib from the photos you have posted.  I don’t care what anyone says at this point we are all slightly shallow if we don’t find them attractive we won’t message them back. 

You see at this stage of the single game, I won’t message anyone first for the whole fear of rejection thing.  I did however ask a girl out for a date that had messaged me first and I now know how Boys must feel.

Just outed myself in that last paragraph but I think Gay Straight Bi or throw your keys in... The single dating thing is the same for us all.

Here is the process for online dating

1.       Set your profile, write some nonsense about yourself generally most people’s will start with “oh I always find this part really difficult” doesn’t bode well for a date with very long silences if they can’t think what to write about the subject they know most.  Slightly side tracking I got so bored of writing these profiles on one just put, I’m a typical Leo if you’re interested you will look that up.

2.       Choose your profile picture carefully and the same goes for the gallery

3.       Wait for your profile to be assessed by the website owner, so you can’t just put this in your profile “hkhjkashfjksdhkfhdksjhfkjshdkjfhsdkjhfkjsdhkjfhjkfhksdj” I have tried

4.       Now you are logged in online on your pc.

5.       Add the application to your smart phone

6.       Wait for a wink? Or a smile? What does this mean? is a Wink like a come on? and a smile cos your shy, But I like you?

7.       If you have got it right you should get a message.

And that is where I will leave this blog for now, then I will tell you about the 3 I have met so far

Sunday, 4 March 2012

These are dark days...

These are dark days...

Newly single after 22 years how does it feel? Why it is single people say they are happy on their own and aren’t looking for a relationship but are all over dating websites.

Why do people in relationships tell you to enjoy being single and spend some time getting to know yourself again?

I want a relationship, which in today’s climate makes me feel like the odd one out. I don’t do well on my own, being on my own, gives the demons in my head all the time they need to be clothed and fed making me feel horribly anxious all the time.

Is it so wrong to want to share your life with someone, right now I just want to hold someone and for them to hold me back and know they aren’t going to leave and equally for them that I won’t be leaving either.  Surely if we were meant to be alone our bodies wouldn’t crave touch and sensation from others as well as getting the mental stimulation our brains require through good conversation.

I’m not a freak, I would say that I am reasonably attractive, articulate and tend to make others laugh, so why then is it such a turn off to express you are looking for a relationship not just a 6 month thing or fling and no I don’t want any more friends... I have good friends and maintaining a good friendship takes time and effort and the rewards are great. So I don’t need to add to my friends.  Maybe if I had to move away from family friends I would feel differently.

Surely if we all thought that each relationship we started was only temporary because statistics show us these stats, then what is the point? I get the stats and I am aware of the reality but isn’t it a sad way to begin a relationship?

Sex without meaning I don’t understand and I am not a prude either, and I enjoy a healthy sex life but without the security and connection what is it?  I mean I get the whole gratification through sex, for some they have a physical need and it is met, but without the mental connection what does it mean? Surely a machine or robot in this day and age could have satisfied the same urges?

You get to a certain age and everyone has history of some kind or package that will mean compromise on your part if you are willing to accept that you can both move forward and leave the past where it was.

Any relationship that has trust and exceeds 70% of your needs is a winner in my mind? We are never going to find the 100% perfect match and let’s face it, if we did I’m sure like me you would be bored and uninterested very soon as the surprise element has gone.  Working at something if not to laborious should come with its rewards. Complacency or laziness is the downfall in any relationship.  That of course and finance and baggage that perhaps you haven’t accepted or they haven’t let go of.

Essentially is there something so wrong in wanting to share your life and what you have with another and for them to do the same?  If I won the lottery it would be great but it would be immense to have someone to share it with.

Happy Dating Days